Myza's Book Of Secrets

Fight for this love, no?

2010-12-15T18:28:00.000-08:00

I can't say your name and you're the only person that knows why.

You like to ask about kawen and stuff and most of the time im actually asking myself, why are u telling me this.

Seems like that I brought that card of urs to class everyday (coz i placed it in my file).

But thanks for sending me the cards though.

Random msgs when ur bored? its definitely not cool.

Whenever, you don't know what to reply, you escape with an lol.

And yeah, we don't have that much in common anyways. What do we usually talk about?

u dont even reply my emails. ego?

yeah, guys.

so, i stopped sending them. well maybe i sent like 2 or 3.

Yeah. I care. Well, used to. I stopped.

maybe still, a lil bit.

and yeah, you apologized. but sometimes, people just go too far.

I don't get it. I just don't.

It's probably just not worth it anymore. I have realized that. I should.

Ok, time to start writing my fantasy love novel now.

What Doesn't Kill You, will only make you Stronger.

2010-12-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's almost the end of the semester.

Based on a true story...

two more finals and i'm done.

before that,

i remember it was a Thursday, the 26th to be exact.

i got a call around 1pm, i remember it being around zohor time.

it was my sister, crying. i was like what? she couldn't tell me what had happened and I had a feeling it was gonna be bad news. *pause*

she tells me she something and i was like what? and then passed the phone to my cousin.

my cousin calmly tells me the bad news.

Tok Ayah had left us. suddenly. so suddenly.

Studying so far away, this is something I was never mentally prepared for.

I just try to not think about it so much as it makes me so sad.

no more calls asking me how school's goin.

Allah loves him more.

That same day, I got the news that I had to the 421w lab all by myself, the whole semester because of a mix up. that just broke me into pieces literally. i was like begging Dr Sillman to let me team up with 2 other girls, so make it a group of 3. and he simply declined. he told me the labs are meant to be done individually, but since there's like too many students, he pairs them up.

and so the tearworks started. i still remember that very day. it couldn't get any worse.

he told me, people have done this before and you'll do fine ( i can't really remember his exact words but sumthin like that) and the TA, Monika,whom i bother like a lot, said, "This will make you a better person. It will be worth it in the end,". hmmm.

Note: Believe in yourself. (even though at that point, i was too depressed to do so)

Some of the experiments lasted the whole lab session. and since i was doing it alone,it usually takes me a long time! i'm usually the last to leave most of the time. i mean, i try not to be, but most of the time, I can't help it. it was depressing seeing the other groups leave early. but what was i to do, that was life.

there were times where i would get stinky results and i would have to write them on the board.

there was this one time where Dr Sillman said, "oh, someone's gotta change to the liberal arts major". OUCH! i focused more after that and my results got =) after that! See below: oh before i put down my numbers, he was like "Lucky num 13". haha. yeah. he likes to say random stuff like that. :)

After all the hard work of trying to put together a poster all by myself, here it is * proud* hehe. after 8 hours of cutting and glue-ing, this is the finished product. not bad ey?

So he asked me some questions , and i stuttered at first, even i didn't know what i was talking about at first but i got a hold of myself.

he did ask me this though, do u miss having a partner?

i just answered no. you get used to it after a while.

People who went around to see other people's poster came by mine and asked me if i did all by myself. yeah. i did. i managed to go thru the whole semester doing the experiments all by myself.

how i did it?

hmm. Allah knows best.

at the end of the lab session, i asked him

me: what should i do with my poster?

Dr Sillman: i can keep it here i u want. it's a good poster. ( yeay)

then, he added

me: yeah, sure. for the future generations to use.

Dr Sillman: i'll call it a non-winner poster. ( ouch!, there was a winner for the best poster)

me: well, i'd call it an independent poster. ( i think its gramatically incorrect but i think he knew what i meant)

Dr Sillman: I will tell them this was made by a student who said she couldn't do it on the first day of class. ( which was true)

Me: yeah. but i made it through.

Dr Sillman: ( to my classmate) did u know that she got (....) on a test?

My classmate: oh, you're one of them? lols.

point is, despite all my negativity in the beginning, i managed to overcome this. it made me a better person in the end. more independent. more confident. no partner drama. just me myself and i. my project was quite easy, Alhamdulillah. other people were still struggling with it even near the deadline.

I got back my manuscript today. It wasn't that bad after all. i don't have to re-write it. yes!

Alhamdulillah, everything turned out alrite in the end.

Always believe in yourself. Allah is always there for you. And he knows what's best. patience.

Dr Sillman, can I get my A now? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee ? :)

What a long day!

2010-12-09T17:22:00.000-08:00

November 28 2009 was the last post.

today its the 9th of December. it's been a year.

and a lot has happened.

i wonder why i stopped blogging. nothing to write about? just got lazy? or no one to read it?

anywho,

maybe its time i jotted sum stuff. for fun. just coz i feel like it. its fun to sometimes do stuff when u just feel like it. like watch 3 korean movies on the weekend just before an exam on Monday or having a bag of m n m's without feeling guilty about it. oh well..

i'll tell u a bit about the unfortunate day of yesterday. i wanted to print out some pictures for my poster presentation for my 421w class today so i went to CVS to print out the pics on glossy paper. i put the pics in my hardrive coz i couldnt find my stinky pendrive. and guess what? it can't read my hard drive. so i would have to come again. i met my friend on the way to IP, and she gave me her pendrive. i was like aaaaaaaaaaaa, thank goodness! so i now i needed a computer to transfer the pictures! aha! let's go to the public library! and so i went. but u needed a password or a library number to log on. So I went to the counter and said " I just needed to transfer something real quick" and the librarian was like, "Are you a visitor? " , i was like errr?? " Do you have a library card?" she asked some more. " errr, no". ok then, i'll log you on after i help this lady. woah. so she logged me on. and guess what? i dunno what windows they were using but it couldn't read my hardisk. so i said thank you and went to find a computer lab. the nearest building was the engineering building and might i say, being the first time i stepped foot in that building, it was creeepy!

and i couldn't find a stinky computer lab.

so i had to walk uphill in the freezing cold to the Willard building.

and transferred the pics. good. now, got to get them printed.

i decided to go the CVS downtown instead.

and indeed, there were like 3 people ahead of me waiting to print pictures and i was trying to catch the bus!!!i was like , you have got to be kidding me!

so i walked back to the original CVS near the CATA bus stop and finally printed the pics there and at that time i was wayyyyyyyy to late to go to my BMB 400 class. hence, my first time not going to that class this semester. quite an accomplishment,might i say? oh wait, my second time. oh well.

and i took my math 004 exam, and being all too confident, i got the first question wrong. note to self: sometimes being overconfident is an overkill. and i checked like 5 times! takpelah x de rezeki. insyaALLAH, dpt A! :P

next post on what happened today just because i feel like sharing it :)

Who am i to you?

2009-11-28T17:57:00.000-08:00

I know. I have had a lot of online friends in the past. Define online friends exactly. People who come and go as they please? People just there when they need someone to talk to and literally disappear? People who find you when they are bored or have nothing better to do?? If I'm a SO-CALLED friend, then why do they leave? What's real and what's not? The feeling of being used sure does suck.

Well, this one goes out to you people my "online" friends...

WHO AM I TO YOU?
Am I real to you or just plain invisible?
Do I bring u joy or just a load of trouble?
Am I someone that you can really trust?
Or take away the friendship and turn it into dust?
Will you be there for me when I’m sad and blue?
Or will you be a stranger and run away too?
Am I just the companion when no one else is around?
Simply pushed away when get what u want
and disappear without a sound?
Am I just an “online” friend or a real friend to you?
Tell me this, and tell me now, coz I haven’t got a clue
My social life is “online” and it shouldn’t be like so
But who am I to talk to when there’s nowhere else to go?
I’m a great listener but I also like to share,
But maybe I’m a Nobody and thus I should not care
About what this friendship means to me
Deep down inside you is not the same as what I see
To appreciate a friendship with understanding and honesty
That indeed is the ultimate key
Sometimes I tend to, go and bother you,
But then I just tell myself, this is too good to be true,
I don’t want to be that person, who you find, when you have nothing to do
Or just entertain me out of pity; is the last thing I want from you,
In the end, I just want you to know that I do have feelings too;
Even if, I’m not real to you.

By: Hamizah Ruwaida Hamzah
7.50 PM EST 22 NOVERMBER 2009

elmo

2009-11-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

Elmo is making me happy! I seriously feel like a kid again! =)It was so worth the 40 minute wait!!! lol

stranger or friend?

2009-11-06T22:21:00.000-08:00

Someone once told me that sometimes, it's easier to tell your problems to a stranger. Maybe coz u have like no strings attached so you can simply pour your mindless heart out. And I see some truth to this actually, based on my own experiences. I mean, I may not be a pro about all this heart and soul issues and etc. but hey I'm not sucha bad listener. Haha. I like to listen to people's problems and stuff and supposedly give the advice they need to hear, as a friend. Or if the person is a complete stranger, just a shoulder to cry on.But sometimes the advice giver can't even find the perfect advice to give herself. And she turns to other strangers for advice. Sometimes, we are in a state of denial, wanting to believe what we want to believe and not believing what's real. And sometimes, we just want people to listen to our problems or at least try make us feel better by hoping that we did the right thing. But would they give us the definite answer? I doubt it. It's like asking your professor to answer a freakin hard problem and he only leads you in the direction but doesn't give you the answer. And the truth is, we should turn to Allah for guidance because Allah will lead us in the right direction, insya ALLAH. And we should turn to Him first for support when we need it the most.Not a stranger.

Dear you

2009-10-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

Each time I say something I regret

I cry I don’t wanna lose you

But somehow I know that you would never leave me

Ironic, it seems. Ironic seems to be my current word or something.

A video, made from scratch that you finally got to see…

A poem, from the heart, not something I would write for anyone

I even carved your name in the snow, now tell me how many people would do that for u?

And you tell me I photoshop-ed it. Pfft. As if. I was shivering in the freakin cold!

Good thing I didn’t spend time composing you a song. That would just be the icing on the cake wouldn’t it?

No.

I haven’t forgotten.

I’ve tried to forget. But it’s so much easier not to remember. Seriously.

Dear Hurt, it’s Time to pass you by.

Dear Pain, No more tears to gain

Dear Happiness, I say hello to moving on

Dear you, hope you’re happy with the choices you’ve made in your life.

I need to get a life.

Whatever that means.

Period.

a final goodbye to MJ

2009-07-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

"Michael Jackson is dead".
I received that text on the morning of 26th of June (25th June in the US) from my mom. I couldn't believe it. Like everyone else in the world. A shock. He was supposed to have his final concerts soon. I quickly logged on to the internet to find out the truth behind this one sentence.

Michael Jackson, I did a presentation on you for my music appreciation class. There's only one King of Pop and that's YOU. As many have already said, no one can hurt you any more. Stop the pathetic allegations and lies. Kinda emotional, I know. How much crap can a guy take, right?

A memorial service, singing his songs. As if, they were celebrating the passing of an icon. But they claim, they were celebrating his life.

We celebrate your songs and through those songs, will you live forever. Let's heal the world and make it a better place.

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart.

May you rest in peace.

2009-06-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

My beloved cousins and I watched Transformers 2 today at Cineleisure, Damansara. And it was pure awesomeness. So much action in one movie! For those of you thinking of watching, I think its a DEFINITE watch. Action from beginning till end. Action. Romance. Comedy. With caramel popcorn, just sit back and enjoy the war between the autobots and the decepticons. For those of you who have never been to Egypt, the autobots will take u there! a 10/10! I do wonder what college it was filmed in. hmmm...
What are you waiting for? Go get a ticket for the next possible movie, people! cheers~

for the love of BUNKFACE

2009-06-21T07:19:00.001-07:00

I was just too tired to type this all out yesterday. Owh well.. here goes...

20 June 2009

I have never been to a gig before. The vision of a gig, I get from watching kami episodes and the movie on Youtube. So, yeah, there was an ad on tv about a FREE concert called "Rockaway" by One Buck Short and friends;Bittersweet,Couple and all these other indie bands. For the love of one particular song by Bunkface, Situasi, my cousins and I decided to evade this so-called free concert and see what the fuss was all about. It was supposed to start at 1 pm. Yeah.Rite. How about 2.30 pm?

To add to my vocabulary, from my first so-called concert I learned some new terms;" mosh", people who mosh are moshers, which are basically people in a circle, or the"wall", moshing or more like pushing, bumping and hitting people while listening to screamo songs! Not my kind of music and I was telling myself," oh come on.. enough already". I asked my cousin, " mmg cam neh ke?" and she just nodded. Way to go culture shock!

The lead singer of a band, fresh one I guess, since my knowledge of the indie world is very superficial, Medusa was clad in a white t-shirt, kinda cute with "rolling r's" in his opening speech, saying.. " ourrrr songs arrrrrrreee hardcorreee" and "let's startttttttttt". Bottom line is, me no likey hard core coz everyone goes mad, i tell ya!!

Songs by the band couple are quite listenable. Certainly a crowd go-er. I only know one of their songs though. Maybe, they should have their own spot on the air.

Stuff I learned:

1. Beware of ur belongings.
2.Everyone wears black.
3.Do not try and get out of the crowd when the band is moving on to the next song. Move when they are changing bands.
4.People PUSH! My cousin was even slapped.
5. Stay away from the MOSH PIT if you don't want to die!
6. "Hard-core moshing" is brutal.
7. Don't wear new shoes!
8. Be prepared to sweat like crazy.

Dinner was at TGI, pavi.. a scrumptious burger with fried mac and cheese.. yum yum...

It's funny how I was youtubing and I found a clip on moshing and concert survival which I should have read wayyyy sooner! put on some jeans, a black shirt and converse shoes, and be a part of the crowd.And they should provide more rubbish bins coz the place was a mess! Come on la people, civilized dah kot!

Last2, x den tgk si bunkface neh ha. pnat je berpeluh. The only thing was awesome we were in the second row, so our view was not a view of an ocean of sweaty heads. Not bad for a "first" concert ey? So, yeah, I didn't get to see bunface belt out situasi after all, which was a bummer because that's the only reason I went there in the first place. ONE BAND and ONE SONG! But I guess, it's the experience that counts after all... for the love of bunkface ... haihs.. =( and I guess, my view on the indie world is kinda different now. Maybe, they should get more recognition after all. My first gig/concert.. owh yeah. =)

p/s: i hope tok mak is getting better~ love u lots!

sorry,dear

2009-06-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

I woke up.

What happened now?
There he was. On the floor.
Maybe, I should say no more.

I was scared. Petrified even.
I was freaking out.
I just wanted to scream and shout.

I checked for a pulse. Was he alive?
Was he going to survive?
Will he make it through?
I fret, not knowing what to do.

It was 3.30 am in the morning.
Awoken by this terrible tragedy.
It's dark .The cuts and bruises, I cannot see

He looks okay.
I am scared for the worst. Let's not go there.
For,I do really care.

I picked him up.
Cradled him a while.
Gave him a smile.
Telling him it's going to be okay.
Today, and every other day.

At least, I hoped so. Really hoped so.

I'm sorry for what happened.
I hope it never happens again.
Ever.

And I didn't know what to expect this time.

He seems fine now.
I hope it stays that way
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

I hope you're okay my dear.
Don't give up on me now.
It's only been a year.
I need you.
I really do.

Maybe I should save up for MAC, just in case =)

"Sounds like you've been very lucky though"
Very!!

*still freaked out* 5.47 am

kurma daging

2009-06-07T04:53:00.000-07:00

Alas, its cuti sekolah time meaning kenduri, kenduri... and more kenduri
The one kenduri I want to highlight is the one of Hafidz and Hafidzoh in Changlun. yes.. same spelling, with a 'dz'. Every since I read the wedding card two weeks ago, I told my mom I wanted to go this one particular kenduri.
To find your true love, and soulmate with a name so close to yours, not something you see everyday is it? So cute =) Hope they live happily ever after~
Finally, they served kurma daging(a fav and a expectation at most kenduris') yesterday at both kenduris'. I just prefer kurma daging to kurma masak hitam. Nothing personal. Haha.

Ah, my current listen. Bunkface-situasi.. playing on repeat..I know.. I know.. its not a current listen BUT this song is really getting to me...

Dan bila kau menghilang

Musnah la, musnah impian

Tuk menggapai bintang

Terangi hidup ku

Ku mahu kau tahu
Engkaulah, destinasiku

Dalam ingatanku...

Disitu
Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru

Itulah impian aku

Ah, the lyrics...
Till next time..

Al-fatihah

2009-05-28T01:27:00.001-07:00

I wrote this a few days back when I first found out what had happened. But only decided to publish it today.

I read my friend's words on ym. Shocking news at 1.30 am in the morning.I didn't want to believe it. But, it was there. Written in plain black and white.
I was just too speechless.

How can a trip end up in such tragedy?
I barely knew him but I, too can feel the pain.
I can't imagine what his family and friends are going through.
May Allah give them strength. Be strong, my friends.
Reading the messages people are posting on his wall.. makes me even more emotional.
He was even coming back to Malaysia in a few days, even... rase terkilan sangat.

Allah indeed loves you more. Al-fatihah to our friend, Nublan Zaki Norhadi.
May you rest peace. Amin.

heh

2009-05-27T22:52:00.001-07:00

i don't get what heh means.. i know its like huhu.. but it annoys me in a way.. hahaha..
dil, this one goes out to u!
=)
cheers~

footie~ 2-0

2009-05-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

I don't think I'll ever fully understand the fascination that keeps fans on the edge of their seats during a Live football game. But if you ask me what football team I'm rooting for, I'd haf to say the Red Devils, Manchester United. Probably just because my brother is a fan of MU and I used to live nearby. However, like hello, I was the only one up watching the game! Haha (coz I couldn't sleep, of course). I’m not a football fanatic or anythin of that sort but I do watch a football game every once in a while. To sum up football in one sentence, through my eyes; football is a bunch of cute guys running around a field, chasing after a ball, scoring goals and getting injured every once in a while. But what do these players have in common; teamwork, dedication and the passion for the game.
I wonder why they don't stop the clock when someone is injured. And why do they even change players, even if its two minutes into overtime with the clock still ticking away? i dun get it, lads..

As confetti rains on the newly crowned champions of the UEFA champions league at 4.55 am in the morning, it was indeed a disappointing match for MU. And since I couldn’t sleep, I watched the game after half time.When Messi scored the second goal for Barcelona when there was only like 20 mins left, it was obvious that Barcelona owned the game. Man U weren't really up to their game this time. The fact that it was an away game didn't help them out much either. Maybe fate was just not on their side.

Ah well, cheer up lads… =D

It’s time to save up money to watch an MU game at good Old Trafford one day. Just for the sake of it all.=)

finales and TV =)

2009-05-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, people, it is now 5.39 am and I am not sleepy despite the subtle headache. I was watching High School Musical 3 (yup, I was that bored) but then I forgot to express my inner thoughts on what’s up and about on tv and stuff. Personally, I thought that Adam Lambert was supposed to be crowned the next American Idol but America thought not. Therefore, mr Kris Allen who didn't quite nail the final performance won, and I was like what??? Anyways, my dear friend who has been rooting for this Kris guy all along was kind enough to splatter my facebook page with support for his guy Kris. Thanks a lot, E! I think he probably won just because he's cute. Well, Adam ain't that bad either. And Kris was going like, "Adam deserves it". Good thing you know that, buddy! I dint really follow American Idol, so who am I to judge, rite? I just watched the auditions and skipped to the finale! Haha.. I just take Simon Cowell's words for it since his presence is what makes the show so “interesting”.

Anyways, that was the finale of American Idol. Next up, Britain's Got Talent, a show with British accents, tea and scones! Susan Boyle is so going to steal the spotlight! She makes people want to believe in themselves more, and to never judge a book by its cover. You can see the rude smirks of the crowd in the video posted on Youtube with 58 MILLION VOTES over a period of only a month. That's ridiculous! I sincerely wish Miss Boyle all the best!

Warning: Below are some spoilers, well slight spoilers:
As for other finales… Gossip Girl.. ah.. at last the uptight and "cowardly" Chuck Bass finally declares his love for Blaire Waldorf in the ending scene which was OH-EM-GEE-totally adorable!!! He was a coward no more…Ah, chuck! Charming Chuck. No wonder the girls all love you. Including this one here. =)

Blair walks down the street and finds Chuck waiting for her with a bouquet and a gift. "Why aren't you in Europe?" He says he was in Paris... and Germany... to get her favorite macaroons and stockings. He came back to tell her that she was right.

"I was a coward running away again. But everywhere I went, you caught up with me. So I had to come back."

"I want to believe you, but I can't. You've hurt me too many times."

"Then believe me this time." She says, "That's it?"

"I love you, too." They kiss.

"Can you say it twice?" They laugh. "No, I'm serious, say it twice.

" He says it over and over. "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Taken from:
http://www.buddytv.com/articles/gossip-girl/more/gossip-girl-season-finale-reca-28778.aspx

As for One Tree Hill, Peyton Scott( married to Lucas Scott) doesn't die after all the drama after the last episode( when they were married). She delivers a beautiful baby girl, named Sawyer Brooke (after her best friend) Scott. As for Brooke Davies, she finally realizes that clothes over bros could wait and she could finally say "I love you too" to the guy who stole her heart, Julian. Awww.. cliche, I know. Kinda like gossip girl, in a way, but without all the never-ending D-R-A-M-A! Owh, and my guy, Nathan Scott… well technically Haley's guy, but a girl can dream, can't she? Haha , anyways, Nathan finally got called up to play for the NBA, for the Charlotte Bobcats, I think. And I think since everyone is in a happy place, this maybe the final finale a.k.a the end of One Tree Hill! =(
Nathan Scott, I will always love you! =)

Well, that's the only two shows that I have followed for a really long time. I need new shows to go crazy over, like A.S.A.P. Any ideas people?

Or maybe I should just finish up trying to play “Better in Time”.

Or maybe I should get a job. Period.

u know u love me,
xoxo

till next time =)

update on life

2009-05-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it's so funny when I look at my blog, thinking to myself about how time has passed me by these last few months. A lot has happened. A lot. Last updated, 4 months ago, hahaha.. what blog is updated in 4 months? Mine! Yeah, i was that LAZY! Okay, lazy is overrated. Firstly, you gotta be in the mood to write and secondly BUSY is a more appropriate word, I suppose. Well,seems like I have all the time in the world now, I think it is finally time for me to write "significant" stuff on the things in life.Now, I'm writing my heart out at 3.02 am in the morning at home sweet home a.k.a Jitra. I can't sleep. Well, the reason for that is totally obvious jet lag or sleeping at the wrong times? I sleep, sleep and sleep some more?

While I craft these words while listening to the "music" by Justin Timberlake and T.I " dead and gone", THIS JUST IN: an update on the current stats on life. 2 days ago was scrumptious nasi lemak, yesterday with roti canai with Mum's fish curry, with FRESH fish! yeah, no more frozen tilapia.. at least for now.. =) I can't wait for mum's gulai ketam.. no more imitation crab meat.. haha.. u know the type sold in sticks used in yong tau fu.. ah.. the yong tau fu at the pasar malam, I so miss you! Then, there's freshly baked bread coz mum has a bread maker now, and otak2.. my favourite! owh and of course, laksa.. ymuu...more of food later...=)

The 19 hours journey was okay, I guess. A lot of sleeping. Watched "bride wars" which was boring and "yes, man" which was equally not so entertaining. Constantly awoken by the stewardess for " moslem meals". We get to eat before everyone else which was okay. The menu, bread, briyani with some chicken curry, some chicken fried in some type of batter, not bad, I must say. We landed at around 1800 hours and got screened for temperature at the aiport but that was about it, suprisingly.

I took a flight to Penang International Airport, which got delayed. My bag was overweight, because the limit was 20 kg, but I made the pity face "i'm-tired-and-i-don't-care" look and she closed one eye, I guess. As for the delayed flight due to technical problems, I asked the people at the counter if I could go and grab dinner. They said to just leave my boarding pass. So, I went all the way to the other side to burger king to have my first authentic beef burger in a very long time. And while I was enjoying my delicious burger, they called for people to board the flight. I'm like wut the? So, I grabbed my stuff and was practically the last one to board the plane.phewww.. !

I was going to surprise my mom, act out the scene in " Love Actually" where everyone is reunited at the end, which didn't turn out as a surprise after all since my mom found out that I was coming home like 1 day before I departed from JFK which pretty much sucks coz I kept this secret for like the past 5 months? 1 day difference! Yeah,so because of the swine flu thingy, my dad had to tell my mom about me coming home. Oh well, it was worth a try. But my sister was overwhelmed that when I reached home that she even cried. I'm like.. woah....tears of joy.. haha...

But as of now, I'm quarantining myself from the world. Just to be safe. =) I love the feeling of being able to wake up and see mom and dad. You just get that safe feeling, ya know? For my friends in the US, have a wonderful summer and take care guys! miss ya! and yes, I have finally updated my blog~ =)

My FIRST American Football Game (vs. Michigan State)

2008-12-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

One word describes it all. Awesome. I barely know the rules of the game, but I know some of the basics, for example, what a touchdown is. 6 points for a touchdown. 4 marvelous touchdowns throughout the final game of the season, against the Spartans of Michigan State. And the final score 49-18. Another win added to Joe Pa’s record. At this moment in time, I have yet to master the intricate terminologies of the complex game of American football. Nevertheless, my first American football game was fantastic!

It snowed frantically at the beginning of the game. It was very cold. I did not expect it to be that cold. It was -5 degrees, but the stadium was full, full of the loyal Penn State fans that brace themselves through the freezing weather. And everyone in Beaver Stadium is united as one. One big family cheering on their beloved team, the Nitanny Lions, to victory! Chanting, the infamous words, “We are Penn State”, which sends shivers down my spine every time it is enthusiastically chanted. Someone says “We are”, everyone else says, “Penn State”. It does not get any simpler than that. The proud feeling that overwhelms inside of me when I too chant along with everyone else cannot be described in words. You just have to experience it for yourself and immerse yourself as part of the crowd. No Penn State game is complete without the motivational tunes from the Penn State Blue Band. Nor is it complete without the stomping of feet to the highly addictive tune from Zombie Nation, one of the many signature songs of Penn State. However, I still need to go to an official white out one day! Perhaps, next season…

When people ask me why I chose Penn State, one of the main reasons is the football! Congratulations Penn State! We did it! Thank you for making my first football game a memorable one, one I will cherish forever. Pasadena, here we come! We are Penn State!

CONFIDENCE~

2008-12-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

Wow. It's not easy to actually raise your hand in class and ask questions in class. It takes a lot of guts and confidence. That's what i didn't do. In classes. Something I should do more frequently in next semester's classes. These people have been doing it for years. But yeah. Today, was the last physics class, i mean recitation for this semester. And the instructor was asking a question about the negative velocity in a graph. I sorta whispered the answer and he was like, " did anyone say something?" " Was it you, hamizah?" Hahah. He knows my name! And I was like erm yeah.. well.. well i answered the question of course, it was right though... i think.. haha.. I feel like answering in class but there's this part of me that second guesses myself. Oh well.. only time will tell.. the first time i actually raised my question was not to asnwer a question but to ask one and that takes a lot of guts as well. I'm not the over the top, comfortable saying stuff out loud type. Call me shy!

Gotta start studying biology and physics so i really do have questions to ask on friday!

I need you. very very much. Really. I do.

2008-12-09T23:40:00.001-08:00

Time is really running out. I don't know where to start. I haven't started on my term paper yet. Owh.. dear... well.. i was you-tubing as always..came across Who's line is it anyway?, the three headed broadway star game is simply the best. Anyway, i came across this song. I think it's an oldie but I heard Vonda Shepard's version. The lyrics... here goes..

Crying over you
Crying over you
When you said, "so long"
Left me standing all alone
Alone and crying
Crying, crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understandI thought that I was over you
But it's true, oh so true
I love you even more
Than I did before
But darling what can I do?
For you don't love me
And I'll always be
crying over you
crying over you

Yes now you're gone
And from this moment on
I'll be crying,
crying, crying, crying
Yes crying
crying
over you

This song is sang with feeling. The lyrics. Meaningful. Kinda.Or maybe i just stick to Pachelbel's Canon in D ... or wait for someone to sing Eric Clapton's " You look wonderful tonight" to me during a candlelight dinner.. haha.. yeah. rite.

Exams, mizah.. FOCUS!!!! where are you?!!

Chuck Bass, i love you....

2008-12-08T18:12:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!~ i shouldn't be blogging rite now. But i so haf tooo.... i have a webassign homework due at 11.59... but i so half toooo... for chuck bass... i want to be there for u.. i love theeee~~ In the latest episode of Gossip Girl.. awesome...Bart Bass dies in a car crash and Chuck Bass was such in a fragile state. Blair wanted to be there for him, and finally she said it.. 3 WORDS, 8 LETTERS IS ALL IT TAKES... " I love you", she says... "Chuck, please don't go. We're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck"."I love you". And Chuck simply says.. "That's too bad". Oh well... something like that... but that scene.. wow... that was touching.. Near the end of the episode, Chuck finally came to his senses and comes to see Blair, crying in her arms. He just lost his father you see, not fully understanding the reason, and was going to inherit millions from his father. They hug and cry. But the next morning, Chuck is gone and he leaves a note for his beloved Blair, 3 Sentences , yet so meaningful and powerful that can bring tears to my eyes~

I'm sorry for everything
You deserve better
Don't come looking for me
- Chuck

Heartbreaking. Very. A very emotional episode for Chuck Bass. But, he'll be okay. After all, he's Chuck Bass. And Chuck Bass will always be Chuck Bass.... Dan and Serena belong together but they're like two stupid lovers, "innamorati" during the times of comedia dell arte~ YES, the theatre 100 class i'm taking this semester is awesome and gone to my head.haha... I picked up my pottery today, well, i could find 2 pots and a mug. They turned out alright after all. Haha..this is a Lazzi, nuthing to do with the story. Anyway.. back to webassign ... times a ticking babe!!!
till next time =)

life.. life..finals..

2008-12-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

Finals are coming up. I'm so excited about that. I have so much stuff to study and yet i am blogging..

Today was the last day of pottery class. Yes, i am taking pottery class. Loved it! I came late today but then I realized it was the last day of class and eveything had to be glazed up. Man, the class started at 7.30. I came at 9. I forgot to factor in that fine dining has a 3 course meal, appetizers, entrees and dessert. And that takes 2 hours. With all the cutlery like the setting you see on "Titanic", you start from the outside and make your way in. I had some vegetarian briyani which wasnt all that good. The Briyani in Tajutheen, PENANG is so much better. Plus, it was vegetarian. TOOO HEALTHY!! Dessert on the other hand was lovely. Kinda like a doughnut with syrup. Sweet! Thanks Al and Charmaine.So, when i finally got to pottery class. everyone was done with their glazing. Well, almost. But Lily, my instructor stayed with me all through 10.30. Wow.. she did it with a smile on her face. I'm always the last to finish in class because you have all the clearing up to do and stuff.. but she waited. So, i got like an hour and a half of glazing. Can't wait to see the finished products, fruits of my labor!

Ok.. next post will be on black friday.. when finals are done. I gotta get studying A.S.AP! WISH ME LUCK =p

"move on"... i tell myself...

2008-12-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

Moving on. It's not as easy as it sounds. I might not have been "there" but i kinda have a rough idea what its all about. Just needing someone to be there, to understand, to motivate, to care and to just say to you when things get rough, that everything is going to be okay. How an earth do you find your soulmate? Someone to talk to, share everything with, travel and see the world with. yeah, my prince charming, my star quaterback.. where for art thou? this emotional road in life needs a companion...wherever you are.. i'm waiting. Sounds cheesy huh? Haha.. Oh well.. watever~ =)

home.coming. parade

2008-10-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. I'm sore all over. But it was worth it. It simply was. I picked the homecoming parade over the trip to the Hari Raya Celebration in Washington DC. But I think I made the right choice. Today is the big day, the game against Michigan, an old time Penn State rival. So, yesterday was the annual Homecoming Parade and I became a walker for the International Student Council(ISC). Well, walking down mainstreet a.k.a College Avenue in a blue baju kurung with a batik design ( symbolizes the traditional wear) in very very cold weather was certainly overwhelming.The best part was getting to hold the flag of your country, which I had to practically quarrel for since there were two people representing Malaysia. Oh, well. I didn't want to hand over the flag probably because it was all too exciting. Too bad. I finally did surrender the flag after all but that was near the end of the parade at the time. He was pretty mad. My bad.

Anyway, yesterday, despite the 6 degrees weather and I was wearing like practically 3 layers of clothes, everything turned out okay. I forgot all the troubles of the week and was an "International Student". When we walked from the IM building to the Lion Shrine, the streets were lined with rows of people, and little kids with bags to collect candy. There was this one guy, near South Halls, i think, he shouted something like, " Malaysia, raise your flag".It was nice to be recognized and the crowd cheered on. As for the International Student community, everyone was cheering us on. I just cannot put these feelings into precise words. Lisa couldn't make it though, maybe next time!

"Mom, are these people actually from their country, holding those flags?"

"And that's Malaysia", says a dad to his son, and the whole family gets candy from me! =)

" Do you guys want candy?"
"Yes please"

The rule of the game is you can't throw the candy, you have to hand it over, properly. So, yeah, some lucky kids get a handful, an early Halloween present. I spent 3.50 on a bag of candy myself. Well worth it.

It's very overwhelming when people know about your country. Holding your flag, walking in a parade with a bagpack coz i dint know where to chuck it, haha..in a parade which practically the whole town comes out to see, booking their places even the night before to get good seats for the parade despite the freezing weather, people cheering you on, shouting, going crazy!! I was going crazy as well!! Sure fun!!! Met some people from other countries as well. But that feeling of "representing" my country, that was a very proud and sensational feeling.

I thought of going tailgating today. But I'm too tired. I'm not even done with ESL! Anyway, thank you ISC for letting me a part of the parade! <3

Owh and Guitar HERO: World Tour @ the HUB was the best!!!! The guy i said could play "medium" even though the other two guys in my "band" were experts. Haha... wanna play again!
and when someone says we are... you say PENN STATE! GO BLUE AND WHITE!

The harder you try, the harder u fall.

2008-10-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

As I wait for the sixth episode of Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill to stream, might as well dwell on the latest incidents of my life. Well, just finished a wonderful biology exam. It was " wonderful". This time the exam was really wordy, i mean,i know Biology has it's own language, which hard to decipher but all these words in choices on exams can be really confusing!!! And that's really frustration. The way it's worded can make the answer be misunderstood by people like me who do not fully comprehend this language of Biology. And people ask me my major, biochemistry. And this is the elementary course. Let's just leave it at that. Frustrated.

WE are PENN STATE!!

2008-10-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

Well, Penn State won AGAIN! It's been one heck of a winning streak,this time it's Wisconsin! 48-7! As Meryl Streep says in Mama Mia, The winner takes it all. Indeed! That is one big gap, don't you think? With 7 wins in a row! I'm so proud! =) WE ARE.. PENN STATE. Well, it's homecoming this week end , I don't know why it's called homecoming but I'll figure that out after my biology exam. Anyway, I was in physics class today and it was freezing cold, and I got the flu because of this coldness which is the most perfect timing ever, BUT I saw this t-shirt with a quote from Joe Paterno, the 81-year-old Penn State coach who has been coaching Penn State for the last 40 years or so. The quote was kinda inspiring. It read," Deep down inside , you are destined to do great things". And that was very uplifting and motivational in a way. Anyway, Michigan, Penn State's all time rival is up on the Big Ten Conference list to face Penn State this weekend. Can Penn State continue its winning streak? I surely hope so. We are PENN STATE!! =)

P/S: Thanks Joe Pa for the inspiring quote. good luck to me and everyone else with biology exams this week!!

urgh, physics!!!

2008-10-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

I'm really starting to have a strong disliking for physics. I've tried to understand but all these concepts and units? And my points on webassign, they are not increasing every time I put in the wrong answer! I sorta get the concept but it takes me too many tries to get the answer right that it makes everything all so depressing!!!woo, this is so frustrating! Then, there's the biology exam, a freakin 7 chapters to read! It is sooooooooooooo going to be a LONG and depressing week! better finish this webassign thingy,that I've been doing for the last 5 hours!!! I so wanna scream!!! Sucks so bad... *sigh* It's sunday, wonderful weather, and I'm studying at the library.. haihs~ Studying is such a challenge..even if your paid for it.. am done with the depressing speech, back to reality... layter~

wel.co.me. to d U.S of A

2008-09-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been nearly two months, and yes this is my first post in like forever... they say time flies when your having fun.. , fun? haha.. I have a bio exam, ESL paper to write and webassign to finish but i feel like blogging..so here goes~

anyway.. lets update on the most recent things since they're still at the top of my head..
yesterday's "Mama Mia" screening at the Hub.. i liked it.. it's nice.. typical romantic comedy and you always know what's going to happen.. but plus the hit singles from ABBA like Dancing Queen, Winner takes it all and Mama Mia, it was so enjoyable to watch.. really had fun..a MUST-WATCH! Meryl Streep is perfect for the role.Can't wait for hairspray!! yeah!

The weather has been nice these past few days, i really hope it stays that way.. I want to show you the pulchritude of autumn leaves twirling to the ground, red, orange, and brown.. romantic~

Nice, lovely, scenery, but.. it's cold!!! gonna get colder! Hari raya was cold! In the sense that you talk with the "smoke" coming out of the mouths.. but now the weather is nice, hope it stays that way.. =)

Bittersweet Mint ICE CREAM!! the cone portion is like a challenge because it melts so easily, so this is 2 dollars something, 2.75 i think, the same price as Baskin Robbins in Malaysia.. The extravagant minty flavor and the creamy ice cream... my current love~ well, before it got really cold to eat ice cream anyway.. =)

And then, there's the discovery of Caramel Latte! It's kinda on the sweet side though. No wonder these folks like coffee a lot! I thought mountain dew was becoming addictive, but coffee.. i like ....

Well, since my train of thought is currently food...this is my version of garlic bread... not bad, ey?

I gotta go and study bio, promise more interesting posts and pictures to come!!! till then, =)

Dr.u.ms..

2008-07-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

Acoustic guitar songs are really sentimental, if you ask me. But my guitar career is currently on hold, since i'm still learning to change the chords, haha..

Well, for some strange reason, this urge or desire to play drums has suddenly popped into this head of mine. Well, ever since i noticed that drummers are passionate in playing their "snare", or "hi-hat" or the ever famous "bass", to name a few...

Well, after watching multiple counts of "Starlight" By Muse on YOUTUBE, i decided to try it out myself. It looks so easy..boy, was i so wrong! Since my cousin's drumset was at my grandma's place, so i decided to mimic the steps shown on Youtube. Hit this drum, and that drum while pressing the pedal for the bass..my synchronization is so out, i tell you! I knew only how to clash the cymbals, or whatever u call it. So, after 5 minutes, i gave up. Haha. And there goes my first time playing drums(without assistance). Maybe next time, i'll get myself a proper teacher. =)

Overall, i think the majestic and mesmerizing sound of the piano is still soothing to the ears... I'm trying to conquer CANON IN D... hopefully.. =)

ROCK BAND, HERE I COME!!

Happy 20th Birthday to Me!

2008-07-20T10:43:00.001-07:00

Well, the day finally came for me to turn 20. And just like my cousin said the nite before, "join the -ties club, no more teens", which is inevitably true! While watching the quite touching with a boring storyline cerekarama, as i anticipate the midnight birthday wishes. thanks guys! i mean gals!

Last year's theme, 20.07.2007
This year's theme , turning 20 on 20th July!

We had lunch at the Crowne Princess Hotel at Jalan Ampang, like 2 minutes away from my grandma's place. There was roast beef, some chicken in onion sauce, veggies, tiger prawns and the usual cakes and fruits and salad section. Nothing quite extraodinary though. Quality with family, that's what counts, i guess..

Birthdays tend to get a little more "quieter", shall i say? No more birthday parties at McDonalds... haha.. that was fun, plus i was 8/9 at that time...maybe it's because im on "holiday" while all my friends are back in college... maybe 21, will be much more of a blast.. we'll see..

Maybe I didn't get to indulge in the FREE molten brownie cake at Chillies as it's my birthday and all. But for me, FAMILY always comes first! Instead, i got a sundae of my favourite ice-cream in the whole world, MINT CHOC CHIP from BASKIN ROBBINS.. and boy, was that yummy!!

It's true what they say, age is just a number. And 20, is just the beginning... =)

The Roller Coaster of Life

2008-07-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

If you've watched Kung Fu Panda, you've probably come across this very wise line,

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a GIFT, that's why they call it the PRESENT!

Maybe it's time to write something serious for a change. S.E.R.I.O.U.S! Anyway, people say that life is a never-ending journey of self discovery. Just like a roller coaster, it is showered with many ups and downs, smiles and frowns, tears and laughter, the sweet taste of success and the bitter taste of failure, which is sometimes smothered with clouds of regret as well as friendships and relationships that have been formed over the years. Enjoy and cherish the mysterious days ahead. Some basic of the principles of life:

1. Things happen for a reason, there will always be a positive outlook to any problem.
2. People come into your life.
3. People go.
4. People change.
5. But your real friends,will always be there for you.

yup2.. told you it was gonna be seeriooouusss stuffs.. later people~ =) To all my friends, love you guys!~! No matter where you are, you'll always have a place in my heart! friends forever...

L.O.V.E

2008-07-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

During the journey back to Kedah, which took 7 hours as it was raining the whole journey, i came across this line in this slow-jazz song, which i definitely recommend as a lullaby for those of the insomnia club:

" I have a crush on you, my sweetie pie"

Cute huh?
If only.
Yeah right.
I wish.
Full Stop.
=(

When your heart is broken, it's sad, and painful and hurts so bad. So, what becomes of the broken-hearted?
What about those waiting patiently alongside uncertainty? Waiting and waiting...
Maybe it's over or maybe something, anything, a tiny light of hope is in existence .

Owh yeah, this is somewhat i think "good advice",
Do not walk away without at least finding out the truth. Take the last chance so you do not live in regret.

So, what's the verdict?
Be desperate or let it go? Be hopeful only to lurk in the depths of disappointment?

There's a reason why people say that we "fall in love", because as it is just as easy to fall out of love.
Well i say, if love was a game, maybe its game over and time to go back to level 1~ *sigh*

When it's time, it's time. The time has not come.. haha.. ok, I'm done with all the sentimental stuff.. Just needeed to pour out my heart and soul. For you, i wait. But i wait no more. =)

stare fear in the eyes!

2008-06-19T03:35:00.000-07:00

well, we finally got quizzes back, the chemistry quiz that I took after one LONG day at SUNWAY LAGOON. and i shall not elaborate on that. Haha.. to the more important aspects of life...i forgot to write about this earlier but since DAYAH wants me to add a lil bit bout that lovely day, i shall... so, it was just the three of us, fatin, dayah and I coz everyone else was studying! NEVERTHELESS, i managed to conquer my fear of the 360 degree rotation of the rides there.. the TOMAHAUK, or however you spell it, that was really scary! talk bout a major adrenaline rush and a "straight to the ground view from above" and all you have is some belts to strap you to the seat! and it stops at the very top, NICE! this ride is surely not for the faint hearted. the thing is i went twice on this ride, twice on 360 degree pirate ship and 7 times on the roller coaster and was utterly exhausted at the end of the day! 4 times with my friends, and 3 times alone ( i was testing the rules of physics, the conclusion = the back seat is always the best, and you so have to raise your arms! ) owh yeah, there were these guys, 5, but only one was kinda hot =), curly hair, shades~ they were singing ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT on the Pirate ship,but the guys started screaming like gals when it started to rotate 360 degrees, with the look of fear struck upon their faces~ fatin and i were laughing all the way, while they were screaming their lungs out~ then the guys, went on the roller coaster and dayah wanted to go on the roller coaster one more time, and so, i accompanied her and the guys were there AGAIN! they sat in the cart behind us but when it came to picture time, they were like waving their hands in the air, so we can't see their faces! oh well, saved myself 12 bux! hahaha....well, thats all from my possibly the fifth time going to sunway? aaaa... DAYAH, next stop DISNEY WORLD!!!!!! =)

FIRST EXPERIENCE :ICE SKATING!

2008-06-14T04:17:00.001-07:00

well, today was my first time skating, and since my few weeks ahead are going to be so packed, packed of what, you ask? EXAMS!! so yeah gotta cramp my brain with bottomless knowledge of ORGANIC CHEMISTRY and ISLAMIC TRANSACTION PRINCIPLES! OH WELL, summer has almost come and gone.. theres only say, 13 days left of summer? wow, time sure flies fast~ and on the 27th theres gonna be this dinner, a final goodbye for the actpians which is also the 2nd anniversary here at INTEC! what i mean is the first day at INTEC was on the 27/6/2006 and the last day here will be 27/6/2008.. its gonna be so SAD!! =( since we will finally be going our seperate ways and all... wowo....ok2... back to the main story. so yeah, first time skating... and there were loads of people... i mean its a SATURDAY! plus its more expensive on the weekened... but sure,,, pay for EXPERIENCE... so i dont really mind, at least now it can be added to the LIST OF THINGS TO DO IN LIFE LIST, even though its only done once.. hahaha.. but still...well, at the first two hours, i spent holding on oh so tightly to the sides of the ring coz i coudnt get my balance and all, but after a while, i could eventually go to the middle which resulted in three nasty falls...my friend is like a pro, so she kinda left me behind to skate or whatever it is that i was doing.... and i was like stranded!!! and yeah when i fell, i took my friend down with me.. and eventually literaaly kneeled on the ice so my pants were wet on the front and the back... nice huh!!!! but yeah everyone was so busy with trying not to fall that they dint stop to help us up! wheres that skater guy that helps people up when u need him!!! and yeah... and then there's the look of embarassment spread across faces of people that fall and the look of amusement of people that are watching from up above, literally of course...ICE SKATING LOOKS EASY BUT ITS NOT... sure everytime i go to SUNWAY, its fun to watch people go round and round in circles in the rink, but to try it yourself, its definitely not as easy as it looks, trust me! and the skates are so tight, that when you skate, it actually hurts but maybe thats why they call it RENTALS...anyway, after around 2-3 hours of skating, we went to eat at WENDY'S. i tried the chilli and cheese potato and it wasn't as tasty as i had expected but okay i guess...i had the fish burger, but i think the cheeseburger the other day was so much better... i think its cheaper that mcdonalds because the large portion is really LARGE... and lastly i treated myself with some good ol PURE CHOCOLATE FROM COFFEE BEAN! YUMMY! before heading off into the sunset and submerging myself into slumberland.. okay peeps.. thats all for today! thankx guys for a wonderful first experince skating! ive been wanting to skate since the first semester, and yeah that wish has finally been granted! next time: conquer all (or most) of the roller coasters in the US and travel across EUROPE!!!! =)

back to 8 am classes~

2008-05-25T01:08:00.000-07:00

Well well, i'm back in Shah Alam, in the com lab since i don't have a laptop rite now.. and supposed to be doin my agama folio... then, i have an exam that i have no idea how im going to sit for.. these next few days are going to be VERY HECTIC! well, it's been a while since ive been in this com lab, and im sure gonna miss it come next month. i could live without my laptop for 6 months after all! the pak cik at the com lab, well he's quite young, 30 sumthin i guess, asked me where i was these past few weeks. owh yeah, im such a regular here that my name is in the log book everyday. its free internet man!!! who can resist free stuff? haha.. plus everyone is in their exam mode, all my a-level friends, good luck guys! you can do it! so the com lab is kinda free, if not you would have to wait and wait for an empty seat as there is no time limit, you can use it as long as you want. so, yeah i use sometimes 2-3 hours...selfish? haha.. kinda.. well, not everyday though... i see no reason.. hurm.. chatting? i see no point in that anymore...ah.. i soo feel like going home! not in the mood to study!!! AS Michael Buble would say, I WANNA GO HOME! focus mizah, you have exams!!!!!! later ~ =)

Americano Idol~

2008-05-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

AMERICAN IDOL :SEASON 7 winner is DAVID COOK! well, ARCHULETA didn't win. Oh well, Clay Aiken is still famous isn't he? Archuleta is so adorable!! i love his smile! And i so want to pinch his baby face cheeks...awww.... on the other hand, is COOK, whos voice is sooooooo extremely sexy? is that the right word? anyway, i think he deserved to win. Archuleta doesn't have the versatile singing voice that COOK has.. WATCH THE "ALWAYS BE MY BABY" video on the right side of the page. ------> it is so mesmerizing~!

Gossip Girl XOXO.. i just watched the season finale. and i don't think the ending has the extravagant suspense ending it should have had but all i can say is CHUCK BASS will ALWAYS BE CHUCK BASS! Gossip Girl isn't the most morally liftiting story to watch,but.. you get the picture.. rite?

I'm still waiting to watch the finale of One Tree Hill, little Jamie is so adorable! As for Peyton, hang in there girl~! and Nathan, you are HOT!! as always.. hahaha =)

waiting for ......

2008-05-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

Why wait for something thats uncertain?

Why wait for something that doesn't exist?

If waiting causes pain,

and pain causes heartbreak,

so why wait?

HEY HEY folks, this is just something i wrote when i was bored in one of my lectures.. (ooops...). You know when people say they'll wait forever, be it one thousand years( yeah rite!), do they really mean it or is it just something thats so relevant at that moment in time? and then there's this other quote, i can't really remember the exact phrase but it goes something like this..."If you love someone, let her/him go, if she/he comes back to you, it was just meant to be". I told this to my best friend once. But somehow it so contradicts with this other phrase or quote, " If you love someone, hold him tight and never let him go"? ah, mixed feelings.. let me tell you a lil story.

Nope, it's not about me. I coincidentally heard it on the radio one day and i think it's kinda relevant. Anyway, it was one of those shows where you get to ask the person you like/love out on date because your too shy to do it yourself.And the guy is like in love with this gal, he met during his schooling years. They went to college together and all. But one day the gal had to continue her studies in Australia and so she had feelings for the guy too and she somewhat promised him that they would take their relationship to the next level when she came back. So, they guy waits and waits and waits..for something very uncertain..and of course, like many typical romantic stories, they drifted apart and eventually lost contact. Then, one day, a friend of the guy saw the girl at a shopping mall, which eventually led to the phone call to the radio station, because he"wants to pick up where things left off" but was shy to do it personally? hurm... and then came the drama... it seems that the girl thought since they had drifted apart and all, that there was nothing there. AND, SHE MOVED ON! what did she do? got married! and so the guy was left devastated, heartbroken and hung up the phone, probably landing tears on his pillow or something. I really felt bad for the guy. Wasted years OF EMOTIONAL TORTURE!...and pondering on what should have been,,,...WELL, what can i say, its life~

As for me, maybe it's time for me to MOVE ON TOO.move on from what, you may ask? Well, that's only for me to know and for you to find out..till, next time =)

Hopeless Romantica

2008-05-23T04:13:00.000-07:00

Ah, it's my first blog and all.. i mean first post in my blog.. well, you get the picture. and of course, i'm having one of those moments, moments u call,a "writer's block". Oh well, here goes. Please mind the grammatical errors alrighty? =) Thanks to my dear cousin who blogs everyday, it kinda instilled this hidden passion of mine.. haha..well, i've heard this phrase like countless of times, "hopeless romantic". At first glance, i assumed it meant someone that is sooo hopeless with romance and stuff, but when i looked up the definition, it was actually the complete opposite. Let's ponder the so-called definition, shall we?

A hopeless romantic is:

someone that is in love with love.
believe fairy tales( the happily ever after part!) and true love a.k.a finding "the one" (and only)
dream of roses and candlelight, walking on the beach and dancing in the rain.
crave for the eternal bliss when united with one's "significant other"
ache to be loved ( hurm..)
needs someone to lavish their affection a.k.a shower their love~
someone to send love letters and romantic poems and send flowers
loves romantic movies and love songs

SO, ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER? no, no.. my question is actually, are you one of of the qualified finalists in the being the "Next Top HOPELESS ROMANTIC"?

Well, truthfully, i think people dream of find their one true love, first and last love, so you get to skip the heartbreak part. It's normal to wish to be wisked away by prince charming who showers his never-ending love and live happily ever ever after. But hey, this is reality, isn't it?

I know this stuff my seem corny or cheesy or whatever you may call it, but I think that the species of hopeless romantics are becoming well extinct...well, maybe... come on people, you gotta spread the love~

My point is...i am such a HOPELESS ROMANTIC! Maybe it's all the cheesy and romantic novels i read, which by the way. Prince charming, wherever you are, as soon as we cross paths, be my one and only, would you? haha...take me on a romantic trip around the world and write me beautiful poems that would make my heart melt like a pool of butter. A fantasy? As of now, i think so... but who knows, rite? =) So, for you people out there, you can call me a hopeless romantic, because i am one, it's not a crime to become a lifetime member of the romantic "jiwang" club and i'm proud of it. =)