Thursday, December 9, 2010

What Doesn't Kill You, will only make you Stronger.

Based on a true story...
two more finals and i'm done.
before that,

i remember it was a Thursday, the 26th to be exact.
i got a call around 1pm, i remember it being around zohor time.
it was my sister, crying. i was like what? she couldn't tell me what had happened and I had a feeling it was gonna be bad news. *pause*
she tells me she something and i was like what? and then passed the phone to my cousin.
my cousin calmly tells me the bad news.
Tok Ayah had left us. suddenly. so suddenly.

Studying so far away, this is something I was never mentally prepared for.
I just try to not think about it so much as it makes me so sad.
no more calls asking me how school's goin.
Allah loves him more.

That same day, I got the news that I had to the 421w lab all by myself, the whole semester because of a mix up. that just broke me into pieces literally. i was like begging Dr Sillman to let me team up with 2 other girls, so make it a group of 3. and he simply declined. he told me the labs are meant to be done individually, but since there's like too many students, he pairs them up.
and so the tearworks started. i still remember that very day. it couldn't get any worse.

he told me, people have done this before and you'll do fine ( i can't really remember his exact words but sumthin like that) and the TA, Monika,whom i bother like a lot, said, "This will make you a better person. It will be worth it in the end,". hmmm.
Note: Believe in yourself. (even though at that point, i was too depressed to do so)

Some of the experiments lasted the whole lab session. and since i was doing it alone,it usually takes me a long time! i'm usually the last to leave most of the time. i mean, i try not to be, but most of the time, I can't help it. it was depressing seeing the other groups leave early. but what was i to do, that was life.
there were times where i would get stinky results and i would have to write them on the board.
there was this one time where Dr Sillman said, "oh, someone's gotta change to the liberal arts major". OUCH! i focused more after that and my results got =) after that! See below: oh before i put down my numbers, he was like "Lucky num 13". haha. yeah. he likes to say random stuff like that. :)

After all the hard work of trying to put together a poster all by myself, here it is * proud* hehe. after 8 hours of cutting and glue-ing, this is the finished product. not bad ey?

So he asked me some questions , and i stuttered at first, even i didn't know what i was talking about at first but i got a hold of myself.

he did ask me this though, do u miss having a partner?
i just answered no. you get used to it after a while.

People who went around to see other people's poster came by mine and asked me if i did all by myself. yeah. i did. i managed to go thru the whole semester doing the experiments all by myself.
how i did it?
hmm. Allah knows best.

at the end of the lab session, i asked him

me: what should i do with my poster?
Dr Sillman: i can keep it here i u want. it's a good poster. ( yeay)
then, he added
me: yeah, sure. for the future generations to use.
Dr Sillman: i'll call it a non-winner poster. ( ouch!, there was a winner for the best poster)
me: well, i'd call it an independent poster. ( i think its gramatically incorrect but i think he knew what i meant)
Dr Sillman: I will tell them this was made by a student who said she couldn't do it on the first day of class. ( which was true)
Me: yeah. but i made it through.
Dr Sillman: ( to my classmate) did u know that she got (....) on a test?
My classmate: oh, you're one of them? lols.

point is, despite all my negativity in the beginning, i managed to overcome this. it made me a better person in the end. more independent. more confident. no partner drama. just me myself and i. my project was quite easy, Alhamdulillah. other people were still struggling with it even near the deadline.

I got back my manuscript today. It wasn't that bad after all. i don't have to re-write it. yes!

Alhamdulillah, everything turned out alrite in the end.
Always believe in yourself. Allah is always there for you. And he knows what's best. patience.

Dr Sillman, can I get my A now? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee ? :)


n a d y a said...

sillman comelllllll.

“It may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]

APRILovesBLACKcoffee.....* said...

dr. sillman's a daddy :)

pinkpolkadot said...

wooot~wooooot~~!!!*standing ovation* \\(^-^,)//!good job gal!

abdus said...

congrats iza.